Unpleasant job & strange responses

I have to do one of the most common jobs as an intern...not that I have nothing else better to do, but the company needed help. Bah. Nope, I'm not a paper feeder nor am I the coffee-girl. I was asked to carry out a short telephone-based survey on the usage of handphones among the people in Malaysia. Bleagh. It's not a task within my job scope, but what to do?

This job can be really, really frustrating & hilarious at times. Below are the various responses that my friend & I encountered :) Hope you'll enjoy a laugh or two or even smile in agreement as I share this with u! Note: my 'clients' are not as funny as my colleague's :P "Malaysia- truly Asia!"

Scenario #1
Ruth:Good morning. May I speak to (name) pls?
Respondant:Speaking...
Ruth: Sir/Maam, this is Miss Wong calling from (company name). We're currently running a short survey of 5 questions on the usage of handphones among Malaysians. Could you please spare some time for this survey?
Respondent:Er...wo bu ming bai la...ni ke yi jiang hua yu mah?
Ruth: *gulp* Er...ok... (starts speaking in broken bare & minimal standard mandarin)

Scenario #2
Ruth:Good morning. May I speak to <name> pls?
Respondant:Ya, this is (name)
Ruth: Sir/Maam, this is Miss Wong calling from (company name). We're currently running a short survey of 5 questions on the usage of handphones among Malaysians. Could you please spare some time for this survey?
(background: Eh, cakap bahasa inggeris lar...u tau tak??)
(another person answers the phone)
Respondant:Salah nombor la...
Ruth: Oh er..ok, takpe la. Terima kasih ye.... (hangs up, mumbles grumbles & bursts into laughter)

Scenario #3
Colleague:Hello, is this (name)?
Respondant: Ya
Colleague: Hello <name>. I'm calling from (company name). We are doing a survey on handphone usage. Do you have the time now?
Respondent: Ok
(asks all 5 questions)
Colleague: Ok, that's all we have to ask (name)
Respondant: Oh. No money ar?
Colleague: Er... sorry our company don't provide...
Respondant: Like that ar...? Then you free or not? Can come out for dinner ar??
Colleague: Huh? Sorry, I have to ask my boss first. *confused*
Respondant: No need to ask your boss; this is personal ma...
Colleague: (silence. too shocked to speak d...)
Respondant: Aiya...joking la...
Colleague:Er...ok....thank you for your time <name> (hangs up, bursts into laughter)

Scenario #4
Ruth:Good morning. May I speak to (name) pls?
Respondant:Ya...
Ruth: Sir/Maam, this is Miss Wong calling from (company name). We're currently running a short survey of 5 questions on the usage of handphones among Malaysians. Could you please spare some time for this survey?
Respondant:No no no...busy busy....
Ruth:Oh ok. Thank you for your time. (hangs up, mumbles grumbles)

Scenario #5
Ruth:Good morning. May I speak to (name) pls?
Respondant:Yes speaking...
Ruth: Sir/Maam, this is Miss Wong calling from (company name). We're currently running a short survey of 5 questions on the usage of handphones among Malaysians. Could you please spare some time for this survey?
Respondant: What company ar??
Ruth:(company name)
Respondant: What ar??
Ruth:(company name)
Respondant: What is it about ar?
Ruth: A short survey on handphone usage
Respondant: I busy lar, busy. Dont want.
Ruth:Oh ok. Thank you for your time. (hangs up, mumbles grumbles)

Scenario #6
(Ruth dials number...)
"Char siew pau, fun cheong, siew mai, lo bak ko....(the list of Hongkee food continues)"

Startled & flabbergasted, I hung up & burst into mad laughter! *rofl* :D The first thing we as telephone surveyors get is the variety of handphone tones that our public has. Hahaha...*shakes head* When I encounter such ring tones, I just have to hang up first & call again... *lol*Can't imagine the taste &amp;amp; humor that people have :P Anyone for Hong Kong food?? ;)

- Ruth